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November 21, 2005

How True!

And this one just in from my beloved Aunt Brenda.

How Government Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night."
So they created a night watchman position and hired a person
at $18,000.00 a year for the job.
Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job
without instruction?"
So they created a planning department and hired two people,
one person to write the instructions for $22,000.00, and one
person to do time studies for an additional $22,000.00 per year.
Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is
doing the tasks correctly?"
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two
people. One to do the studies for $31,000.00 and one to
write the reports for an additional $31,000.00 per year.
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created the following positions, a time keeper for
$35,000.00 annual salary, and a payroll officer for an
additional $35,000.00, then hired two people.
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of
these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three
people, an Administrative Officer at $155,000.00 per year,
Assistant Administrative Officer $125,000.00, and a Legal
Secretary for an additional $100,000.00 per year.
Then Congress said, "We have had this operating for one year
with a budget cost of $574,000.00 and we are $18,000 over
budget. We must cutback overall cost."
So they laid off the night watchman!

Posted by Seth at November 21, 2005 07:29 AM


Actually, that makes total sense...after all, they would have had to sell off all the junkyard contents to pay for all these positions, so there's nothing left to steal.

Unfortunately, rather than shut down the whole operation since its raison d'etre was no more, the next step will be to mortgage the entire property to pay for a consultant to create new employee positions and redefine everyone else's position so that the operation can expand even further. And when that money runs out...

Posted by: civil truth at November 21, 2005 12:59 PM

Now THAT sounds like after a few years it could be just like San Francisco city govt, at least half of which is nothing more than a job fair for un-or semi employables.

You know, they have more people just cleaning the streets here than anyplace else I've ever been, and they're STILL filthy.

You can walk into some city offices and deal with an employee behind a counter, say a guy(in theory) with pink hair, six rings and/or studs in his face and dark purple nail polish.

If it weren't for the city jobs or the strange boutiques in Haight Ashbury, these folks would have no choice but to be bicycle messengers or suck the gubmint teat.

Posted by: Seth at November 21, 2005 01:27 PM