October 24, 2007

One For Ukrainians

As I have mentioned before at one place and another, I grew up in a Jewish family that loved ethnic jokes, particularly those aimed at ourselves, and we used to share them at gatherings around my grandparents’ dinner table. My extraction on that, the maternal side of my family, is Ukrainian and Polish. Yep, Polish, so my grandmother was the honored recipient of plethoras of extra jokes.

However, Ukrainian jokes were hard to come by (sparing my grandfather, LOL) in fact I don’t recall ever hearing or reading any, at least until now, with this one emailed to me this morning by my treasured Aunt Brenda, conservative-Democrat-at-large:

A Ukrainian walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Kiev on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Ukrainian handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Ukrainian produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Ukrainian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Ukrainian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.

The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The Ukrainian replied: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Ah, the Ukrainians… See! Kielbasa & Vodka is good for the brain.

by @ 8:29 am. Filed under Humor
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14 Responses to “One For Ukrainians”

  1. Ken Taylor Says:

    Classic!!!!! I needed a good laugh! Thanks my friend.

  2. BB-Idaho Says:

    OK, this is probably the first of all the Ukrainian jokes you will be getting. The Ukrainian immigrant goes to the state Motor Vehicle Department to apply for a driver’s license. The clerk has him take the vision test C Z W I X N O S T E Z. “Can you read this?” she asks. “Read it? Heck, I KNOW the guy, replies the Ukrainian.

  3. Seth Says:

    Ken –

    Glad you enjoyed it. It definitely got me going. :-)

    BB –


  4. Always On Watch Says:

    Being able to laugh at oneself, in both the smaller and larger sense, is critical to staying sane, as far as I’m concerned.

  5. Seth Says:

    AOW –

    I couldn’t agree more. This is one of the things essential not only to staying sane, but to being happy with life.

  6. Jennifer Says:

    Seth, I saw your comments at Ken’s and decided to come visit. I am glad I did. Your blog is terrific and the joke was too funny! I hope you don’t mind if I link to you! I’ll definitely be coming back!

  7. Seth Says:

    Jennifer –

    Welcome, and thanks! :-)

    Interestingly, I did much the same earlier at your place, having read your comments at a few places, and had already also decided to link to you, as well.

  8. Gayle Says:

    LOL! We eat Kielbasa a lot! I’m not big on vodka, though. My husband, who is of Polish and Hungarian desent, also enjoys collecting Polish jokes.

    I use “The Red State Boys” videos on some of my Friday Fractured posts. They are exaggerating themselves as typical Rednecks, and one of my visitors said she was offended by the video. I guess it was because of where she lives. Sheesh! People need to be able to laugh at themselves. It wasn’t like some uptown New Yorker published the video. I’m in the heart of Texas, for heaven’s sake. If we can’t laugh at ourselves then we have no right to laugh at anyone else.

  9. Seth Says:

    Gayle –

    Me neither on the vodka, though Kielbasa’s always welcome.

    I’ve always been fortunate enough to attract friends who are anything but PC or easily offended by what amount to harmless jokes or other humor venues (many are more likely to turn things into a good hearted banter exchange) a good thing as some of the stuff I say… well, for example, I remember getting some “looks” in a bar one afternoon in politically correct SF when I made a remark to a drinking buddy: “That one was as skinny as an Ethiopian supermodel”, though my friend was amused… just gets said.

    Life must be something of an ordeal for the thin-skinned among us, or at least until, assuming we allow it to happen, the PC police have managed to cram their “right not to be offended” politics completely down our throats.

  10. Shoprat Says:

    Yes, but who is the joke on?

  11. Seth Says:

    Shoprat –

    I don’t see that any joke is on anybody unless it has a tangible effect on their lives.

  12. Gayle Says:

    Agreed that the joke is not on anybody when you are laughing at yourself, Seth. It also takes the sting out of others doing it, and when they see it doesn’t bother you they stop doing it. :)

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  14. Seth Says:

    Gayle –

    Growing up in New York, I was blessed with friends who felt pretty much the same re laughing at themselves. As young’uns, we had “rank-out fights” on a daily basis and as we grew into adulthood, we perpetually seized any opportunity to capitalize on any of one anothers’ “unfortunate” turns of phrase as such.

    When anyone tries to insult me and I see some humor in the attempt, I generally laugh in response.

    Eugene –

    I went over and took a brief look at the blog earlier today, but I was in a hurry to get out the door and off to a pro-troops rally.

    I thoroughly agreed with what I read in the first couple of paragraphs in the first post and short-cutted it for further reading.

    Once I’ve had the opportunity to spend more time over there (in a little while, I just have to catch up on some email correspondence), if it’s what I think it is, I’ll definitely blogroll the site, and perhaps link to it in a post over the next day or so.