…tedious in their efforts to “interest” society in their menu of micromanagement.

Of whom do I speak?

The portside media, researchers who are probably compensated, in large part, by grants financed by our tax dollars and assorted blank-minded, modern flower children who need a cause, any cause will do as long as it isn’t in any way conservative.

The people who feel it is their mandate from On-High to tell the rest of us what we can and can’t eat, the more enterprising among whom will probably soon be selling Trans-fat Credits.

The usual suspects, liberals from the Land Of The Lotus Eaters (The Odyssey) whose ambitions include snatching meat from the jaws of human carnivores and spooning yogurt into our mouths in its place.

The folks who now deem attending a good, old fashioned backyard barbecue a dangerous risk.

While my own inclination is to tell such critters to mind their own business, that what I choose to eat is my affair, I’ve had liberals tell me that the reason these people are so aggressive about their beliefs is that they are concerned that “unhealthy eaters” will one day cost taxpayers a lot of money on health care.

“Since when,” goes my stock reply, “did liberals give a flying f–k about spending the taxpayers’ money on social services related issues? You guys even endorse spending our money on illegal aliens!”

The truth is, American liberals are quite sure, and with good reason, that their efforts to trump our present form of government with socialism are succeeding. Thinking liberals are actually looking past their initial political victories at the practicalities to follow: Their social programs will cost the U.S. taxpayer dearly, and they need to find ways to cut costs, one being to put the proletariat on a diet of tofu and rice, unsweetened green tea and spring water to keep them healthy.

This program would never work for me, I was born by Occident and could never Orient myself to such a diet.

Of course, during an exchange of ideas with the flower kids who have long enjoyed desirable sustenance therein, I understand: There are benefits to be had from consuming a lot of tofu.

Indeed.

I recall an afternoon about three years ago, at an IHOP in rural Illinois, when the waitress informed me that they could not, by law, serve me a rare cheeseburger. I always order/cook my steaks and burgers rare (except prime rib, which I do medium), and requested a visit from the manager. After some debate, I explained, “It’s not how long you cook something that kills bacteria, it’s how hot you cook it.” He finally agreed on condition that “no matter what happens”, I would tell nobody that I’d been served a rare burger under his auspices. He was from India, somewhat recently to judge by his accent, and if he ever returns to the old country he’ll be a superb candidate for Bangalorian telephone Tech Support. He’d undoubtedly make a great Fred, or a passable Bill (Beel?). I only mention this because our conversation would have made an outstanding comedy skit based largely on his accent.

Relax, there’s no bigotry here, just a paucity of political correctness. I grew up in a Jewish family wherein one of our favorite holiday dinner table (or Passover seder) customs was sharing the most irreverant-but-funny Jewish jokes we’d run across. Even my grandmother, who played a puritanical role in the family, shared jokes gleefully, and hers were some of the most risque, go figure. The way I grew up, PC has never stood a chance with me and never will.

Back on track, these “healthy choice” advocates seem to assume that everybody will leap onto a government program at the first sign of illness. No one, they presume, has an HMO as back-up or sufficient wealth to obtain timely and quality medical care rather than substandard and often demeaning, government bureaucracy administered Socialized Medicine offerings.

Wrong! At least as long as the government doesn’t make it legally mandatory that all citizens participate in the program (Senior Ministers Pelosovitch and Reidakov would have no trouble with that, nor would any other mega-wealthy, double standard liberal)…

Right, while you and I are comparing tofu and rice recipes, Pelosi and Murtha would be sitting down to a chateaubriand dinner. Perhaps a platter of canard a’la orange, which the public, or non elite, can’t be allowed because of the fat content in a duck. Quack!

Michael Moore will be doing humongous pig on a spit for one.

Rosie O’Donnell will be chowing down on camel tripe and the fatty parts of a whole uncooked lamb using her bare and greasy hands, clamoring for ten pounds of pork chops as liquified provender drips down the front of her blouse.

For the rest of us, well, please pass the rice….