March 6, 2007
Thoughts On Television
It’s 9 a.m. on Tuesday, less than 48 hours before I make my move from Charlotte, and I’m listening to some ancient Jefferson Airplane music (right now, D.C.B.A. 25 segueing into My Best Friend) while trying to figure out what I’ve forgotten or neglected in the way of packing.
I have to put my DirecTV account on hold (4 receivers).
Satellite (or cable, for that matter) Now there’s a deal!
By the middle of the second week of the month, you’ve had the opportunity to watch all the films, thrice or more, that are available on the zillion non-commercial movie channels. So you go to expanded basic, where they give you commercial breaks long enough to go cook a complex dinner between program segments.
I mean it! You can leave the room at the start of the first commercial, set up a fresh pot of coffee, go to the bathroom, check your email, grate some red onion and knead it into some ground sirloin, season it and add a few dollops of Worstershire, then put it in the broiler, then go back to the TV in time for some slug representing a financial institution to tell you how the firm he represents has helped “thousands of people just like you”… I don’t know how y’all feel about that, but when someone in a commercial uses the phrase “…people just like you…”, he/she guarantees that the firm in question will never get any business from me. That phrase is so effin’ patronizing — how the eff does that piece of feces know “just how” I am?
If you don’t go do something and just watch the ads, you see a female human hippopotamus (before) become Raquel Welch (after) — while in tiny lettering at the bottom of the screen is a notice that “Results not typical” or “Results may vary”. Some say “…with proper dieting and exercise…” In other words, you’ll lose weight with proper dieting and exercise, and if this works, they’ll claim credit, whether or not their product had anything to do with it.
Then there are assholes who will milk your every dime to clear your credit score and a clinic in which they can “add size to a certain male body part…”
I surely miss the more creative and more conservatively delivered commercials of the 1960s.
On the positive side, I must admit that I kinda-sorta’ like the Geico caveman commercials.
Otherwise, I’m pretty durned tired of TV….
http://hardastarboard.mu.nu/wp-trackback.php?p=633
March 6th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
AMEN!!!!! TV ain’t what it used to be. If it were not for DVD’s I most likely would seldom turn on the set. Ido like the History Channel and related channels like that along with National Geographic when they are not pushing the Global Warming agenda. But most of the time when the tube is on if it is not a movie I put on its FOX News or the channels stated above. Like you I do miss the creative commercials like, ” plop, plop , fiz, fiz z”and “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing, ” and others that are too numerous to mention!
March 6th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Ken –
The charactarless commercials of today go right along with the rest of the lack of creativity that has become pervasive in our society:
The countless remakes of old movies (and even films based on, and altering, old TV series’) that were just fine the way they were, the boring, computeresque designs of new buildings and automobiles (which all look as though they came from one of three or four templates over at Toyota), sitcoms, contemporary music, etc, etc. I think this is all the result of new generations growing up in front of computers and Play Stations, as well as the bleaching, via political correctness, of the education system.
Face it, my friend, we are evolving into a mentally sterile society, generation by generation.
TV networks, both cable and broadcast, like the MSM, have completely lost touch with and respect for their viewers. Broadcast TV is a real hoot — they demonstrate the totalitarity of their lack of creativity via derivative, shallow sitcoms and reality shows. The fact that these programs are watched enough to warrant their continued broadcast indicates that a significant percentage of the American public, too, has become intellectually stagnant.
I’m with you on the DVD thing.
If there is a TV series I have an interest in, I wait until it comes out in DVD and watch it season-by-season, several episodes at a time — no commercials, yay!
March 6th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Seth,
So, Hollywood has taken up the cause of global warming, thus making it an important issue? BWAHAHAHAHA!
You’re so right about those commercials on TV. And about those rotating movies too. I’d much rather be blogging.
March 6th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
AOW –
According to the media, Hollywood has long been an unimpeachable source of expertise on all political and scientific issues.
***********
Among my favorite (not!) commercials are the ones that advertise pharmaceuticals that are supposed to relieve discomfort from one condition or another, where the smiling actor or actress casually tells you something like, “Side effects may include nausea, bloating, rectal hemorraging, inability to breathe, blurred vision, heart palpitations, severe blistering in genital areas, bleeding from the ears or uncontrollable diarrhea attacks that occur without warning.”
March 7th, 2007 at 2:28 am
That was funny, I get sick to death of tv too.
Where are you moving to?
You are still going to blog arent you?
March 7th, 2007 at 7:51 am
Marie –
I’ll be in the midwest for a fairly short period of time, then I’m going to work at a permanent job in the Netherlands Antilles.
You are still going to blog arent you?
You betcha!
March 7th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Netherland Antilles?
Are you changing careers, or just getting ahead of the curve
for the next growth industry should she who must
not be named become the next POTUS?
March 7th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Civil Truth –
I have accepted a permanent position, based upon the compensation package and perks offered, as opposed to working freelance to this point.
I will never give up my treasured U.S. citizenship, and as for she who must not be named, LOL, I doubt that she’ll be able to move back into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in 2009 unless she gets a divorce and marries the right Republican.
Hmmm, “right Republican” — no pun intended.