August 26, 2010

The French (Spit!)

This one came in a forward from a friend, and I simply couldn’t resist.

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman’s poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, “Ma’am, may I have that seat?”

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.”

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

“Please, ma’am. May I sit down here? I’m very tired.”

She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!”

This time the Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, “Someone must defend my honour! Put this American in his place!”

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up and said to the Marine, “Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”

Hat Tip: Ric.

by @ 10:47 am. Filed under Humor
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8 Responses to “The French (Spit!)”

  1. The Gray Monk Says:

    That is an extremely English response. Makes one proud to be English…

  2. Seth Says:

    Gray Monk –

    I always have been a fan of English authors and English humor.

    I have long had a special affinity, for example, for Manning Coles’ (Adelaide Manning and Cyril Coles), Tommy Hambledon novels as well as all of Leslie Charteris’ The Saint stories.

    The older novels of Harry Patterson (Jack Higgins), Len Deighton … And a lot of English T.V. :-)

  3. BB-Idaho Says:

    Now, now- surely you recall Yorktown, where there were 9000 American soldiers and 25,000 French(spit!) soldiers and sailors?
    Next, you will want to return the Statue of Liberty to the French(spit!) BTW, congrats on dumping ‘Little Green Footballs’, I think
    ‘Crush Liberalism’ is a little more centrist. :)

  4. Seth Says:

    BB –

    Yorktown, where there were 9000 American soldiers and 25,000 French(spit!) soldiers and sailors?

    a. That was 2 1/4 centuries ago, long before all Frenchmen (spit!) had their sex change operations.

    b. The only reason they were helping our side was because the English were their enemy. If we’d been fighting anyone else, we wouldn’t've heard a peep out of the miserable blackguards.

    The Statue of Liberty doesn’t even begin to compensate for the fact that France is not today a German speaking country. Goose-step pate, anyone?

    Dumping LGF was, IMO, a good move. The pox on ‘em.

    ‘Crush Liberalism’ is a little more centrist.

    Absolutely! :-)

  5. BB-Idaho Says:

    2 1/4 centuries ago: founding fathers etc & etc. Whatever the French (spit!) motivation, they were essential to the success of the American Revolution, spending some 1.8 Billion Livres (think
    livre pate here). The founding fathers imbibed much of The Englightenment (think Voltaire & Co), Jefferson & Franklin spent years in Paris and the affaire brought France (spit!) to the brink of bancruptcy. Their troops were enamoured of our frontier soldiers and the spirit of revolution rapidly passed from here to there. We spent not a livre on them..and they screwed their revolution up.
    Jefferson served the first French(spit!)fries in the white house in
    1802. (and it wasn’t the French (spit!) that burned Washington DC
    10 years later! Vive la Coeur D’Alene, Sault Ste. Marie, Cape Girardeau, Creve Coeur, New Rochelle, Deschutes River, St. Croix River, Eau Claire, Fond du Lac, Prairie du Chien…and a couple of my favorite American places; Lac du Flambeau & the Grand Tetons!
    You think I’m too tolerant? :)

  6. Seth Says:

    BB –

    We supplied Saddam with WMD back when to use against Iran — he later used it on his own people and still later qualified in every way as a bad enough enemy to warrant our going over there and deposing him via military might.

    We supported the Afghanis against the Soviets, then later the folks we’d supported became our avowed enemy.

    Sadly, circumstances change. Look how our once mostly patriotic voters elected O, Pelosivich and Reidovsky to 1600 Penn, the House and the Senate, respectively.

    The French (spit!) helped us in the Revolution, then later their men all got the sex change I spoke about, they became a cesspool of socialism and they became anything but our “ally”.

    Speaking of which, though they somehow get included in the list of our “allies” of Dubya Dubya Two, “da big one”, they were never our ally. They were the trembling collaborationists whose derriers we saved from the nazis.

    That makes us much more than even, although the French (spit!) aren’t even a shadow of their former selves.

    BTW, you overlooked mention of Tommy Paine in connection with their revolution.

    You think I’m too tolerant?

    It’s possible, because after all, tolerance of the French (spit!) is never healthy. :-)

  7. BB-Idaho Says:

    “Sadly, circumstances change” Indeed. Why I can recall when us
    Norwegian types were Vikings. Now the fjords just contain happy socialists. Go figure!
    On the other hand, circumstances will change, “sadly’ or not. (In my book tech advances like cellphones and i-pods fall into the ’sadly’ category..age makes us tradition-bound)
    I assume you are texting from the Beck Rally? :)

  8. Seth Says:

    BB –

    tech advances like cellphones and i-pods fall into the ’sadly’ category

    I can’t argue with you there. You may not see it out in them thar wilds of Idaho, but here in New York or in any other populous locale, it seems like 90% of pedestrians meander along the sidewalks all day, gabbling on their cell phones or gawking at their text messages, bumping into people, cutting in front of them, ignoring all that takes place around them and, worst of all, they seem to have the attitude that their wireless activities take precedence over everything else that happens to be occurring in the world, including the inconveniencing of other people.

    Wireless technology has brought rudeness to new heights.

    I assume you are texting from the Beck Rally?

    Nah. I attend political events when I have the time and opportunity, but sadly enough, I’m not really all that big a fan of ol’ G. Beck. He makes some excellent points and has good political insights, I’m just not into his delivery, if you know what I mean.

    Also, I haven’t actually figured out the theme of the rally. :-(