October 7, 2009

Yes, Still Another One Of Those Forwards…

…,this one purportedly by a Law student, that sounds like a GREAT idea to me!


Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.

I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model 20 separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a
bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.

We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values…You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain.

You can also have the U.N…but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickledown economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.


John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

P.P.S. I would like to include the following addendum:

Again, in the spirit of this Divorce Agreement, we will also keep the Bill of Rights and the Constitution of the United States of America since the current administration, from President through all those listed above have ceased to use or abide by it. You can keep the writings of every anti-American you choose to follow.

Works for me!

Hat Tip to the illustrious B.J.S.

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8 Responses to “Yes, Still Another One Of Those Forwards…”

  1. BB-Idaho Says:

    Great idea..about time the red states
    started pulling their own weight. :)

  2. BB-Idaho Says:

    “We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and..”
    ..sorry, Julia Ward Howe was a pacifist and progressive (spit!) Nor can you take the Pledge of Allegiance, author was a socialist (spit!) But, typical
    law(spit!) student inanities..:)

  3. Seth Says:

    BB –

    The lefties at the WaPo are just bitter. :-)

    Could it be that the Red States’ politicos are just a bit more perspicacious/responsible and less “out there” in the allocation of those federal funds received, preferring to put the money into tangibles, rather than portside pipe dreams?

    sorry, Julia Ward Howe was a pacifist and progressive (spit!) Nor can you take the Pledge of Allegiance, author was a socialist (spit!)

    There are a lot of traitors, liberals & commies out there who are creative; Some even make unwitting contributions to things to which they are diametrically opposed.

    Sometimes we must tighten up our belts and salvage whatever we can from the bad things.

  4. The Gray Monk Says:

    Works for me too - though I wish we could get something similar going in the UK.

  5. BB-Idaho Says:

    One of those GlennBeckian observations..”There are a lot of traitors, liberals & commies out there who are creative; Some even make unwitting contributions to things to which they are diametrically opposed.” True
    liberals are creative and contribute. After all, there must be some reason only 6% of scientists are
    Republican ..lumping liberals with traitors and commies is beneath you (and I’ll take it as the excitement of hyperbole) :)

  6. Seth Says:

    Gray Monk –

    The U.S. would certainly be better off with half the states and 100% of the belief we once had in our Constitution.

    Liberals here are hell bent on changing the United States into something 180 degrees different from what it has, to great success, been for over 200 years.

    There are plenty of countries they can go to that would seem to be more in line with their ideals for the way a country should be run, instead they want to ruin this one. :-(

    BB –

    ..lumping liberals with traitors and commies…

    Y’know, before I voted for Reagan (a perfectly acceptable response to the Carter Administration which, misguided, I had helped to vote in), I was something of a liberal, and I know I was never a traitor or a commie.

    This leads me to believe that not all liberals are thus, that some are simply misguided, others, as the great Reagan once said, just “know so many things that aren’t so” and still others are reality challenged or view life through a “mares eat oats and does eat oats” prism of some sort. Then, of course, there are the malevolent ones, such as ELF, Code Pink and the like, Nancy Pelosi…

    Although, you cannot deny that a fair amount of liberals are traitors and commies (see Nancy Pelosi, Code Pink, “The One”, Rosie O’Donnell, Babs Streisand, a vast number of NYT reporters and editors, and a host of others).

    Back in the 1960s and early 1970s, when the “American Communist Party” had its brief day in the sun, all its members were liberals, because there was such a short jump from one to the other.

    Hundreds of liberals defected from the Dali Lama to the Daily Worker. :-)

  7. Always On Watch Says:

    Just try to take my big car away from me! I’m going to be needing it to transport Mr. AOW and his wheelchair or other device.

  8. Seth Says:

    AOW –

    They wouldn’t dare! :-)

    Of course, if they tried to, they’d have to hide their own fleets of big cars — you know, those liberal hypocrites like Arianna Huffington who rally their followers against SUVs, while maintaining a fleet of their own.