September 16, 2006
This Is So Definitive….
….of the liberal state of mind, LOL!!!!
Dear Abby:
I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City.
I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a part-time “working girl” in a brothel. Her time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin.
My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Bush?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
H/T BJS
http://hardastarboard.mu.nu/wp-trackback.php?p=516
September 17th, 2006 at 12:49 am
ROFL!!!!!!!
That was great!
Thanks for giving me a good belly laugh, Seth!
September 17th, 2006 at 1:00 am
Atheling2 –
I’m still pretty hysterical about it myself, LOL!
So liberal, so true, so effin’ funny!
September 17th, 2006 at 5:24 am
This is a dilemma faced by many liberal families today. They have the “I voted for Bush” skelaton in the closet. Other than that problem, this seems like your normal liberal nuclear family.
September 17th, 2006 at 5:35 am
Big Dog –
You are so right, LOL.
And if it hadn’t been for liberals just like these, Jerry Springer wouldn’t have had a show.
September 17th, 2006 at 5:45 am
I have not posted before, so I hope everyone recognizes my comment as sarcastic humor about this funny piece.
September 17th, 2006 at 5:57 am
Big Dog –
Welcome, and feel free to bring all the sarcasm you want — given the state of current events, sarcasm makes more sense than most of what is construed as straightforward speech.
September 17th, 2006 at 9:27 am
Dear Worried about My Reputation,
By all means you must be honest with your fiance.
Your family reputation leads me to conclude that your nephew must have worked for Jack Abramoff!
-Abby
September 17th, 2006 at 10:20 am
BB –
Now, now. If the wrong folks inside the Beltway read that, they might accuse you of rubbing salt into old wounds.
September 18th, 2006 at 5:12 am
Great humor, Seth. Thanks for the laugh.
And the left claims conservatives are disfunctional?
You can rest assured the crackhead didn’t vote for bush!
September 18th, 2006 at 5:19 am
Old Soldier –
To judge from what we read, see and hear on an almost day-to-day basis, the Dems are the party that supports everything that goes against the grain of American morality, such as drug use and child porn, so I doubt any of that Springeresque crowd voted for anybody other than Algore and Jacques Kerry.
September 18th, 2006 at 6:54 am
Plenty of folks with conservative politics in prison.
The Aryan Brotherhood come from your side of the spectrum.
September 18th, 2006 at 9:55 am
Arthur, what are you babbling about now?
September 18th, 2006 at 1:29 pm
Arthur, what are you babbling about now?
Speaking of the ‘conservative state of mind’. Timothy McVeigh was a registered republican.
LOL?
September 18th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Arthur –
I repeat: What are you babbling about?
September 18th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Just providing a couple examples of the ‘definitive state of the conservative mind’, Seth.
September 18th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
And Charles Manson was a liberal, so what’s your point?
September 18th, 2006 at 2:31 pm
so what’s your point?
Posted by: Seth
The point is that overgeneralizations, exaggerations and outright lies are just so funny when applied to ones political opponents.
At least that’s the point I took from the original post in this thread.
Oh. And the other thing that is so funny is the implication that conservatives are somehow ‘better’ than liberals.
September 18th, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Arthur –
Correction: Not better, just exponentially more in tune with reality, more respectful of American traditions and the intentions of our founding fathers and infinitely more apt to practice what we preach.
September 18th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
Arthur –
Correction: Not better, just exponentially more in tune with reality, more respectful of American traditions and the intentions of our founding fathers and infinitely more apt to practice what we preach.
Ha. Ha.
Among intentions of the founding fathers was to insure the continuation of slavery and denial of women’s suffrage. Fortunately there were progressives around to use the constitutional mechanisms available to end both.
Activist judges and all don’t you know.
Those some you had in mind?
September 18th, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Seth,
Er, ‘more in tune with reality’ [Eek, Iraq is full of WMD/Nukes]
‘more respectful of American traditions’ [We can torture whoever we want]
‘intentions of our founding fathers’ [let's use the military to enforce democracy on the world..
Adams loved that one]
‘more apt to practice what we preach.’[never try diplomacy when force is available] There are conservatives, there are neocons, but I agree with Wm Buckley, the ‘new’ rightwing is a little
out of whack. (Ok, Seth, the left has been out of whack for years..at least in my case, arguing
with my teachers, arguing with my professors, arguing with my government…luckily the wife is
more moonbat than me!! Anyhoo, perhaps Arthur was expressing concern over name-calling and categorizing people’s beliefs? It was a cute
‘Dear Abby’ and certainly could have been written from an opposite perspective, lord knows what we see in Dear Abby.
September 18th, 2006 at 7:27 pm
Let’s lighten up everybody. The letter is a too-long shaggy dog story; the punch line would have been funnier if the author had shown more restraint earlier.Any efforts to use this as a lauching pad for serious social commentary is even more tedious than the letter writer’s wind-up before the pitch. Tomorrow we can commiserate with (or eviscerate) the [fill-in the blanks] conservative who’s agonizing over whether to tell his fiancee about his uncle having been the Kerry local campaign manager in 2004.Let’s save up the vitriol for recalcitrant issues. like the various attacks on free speech coming from all political directions, home and abroad.
September 18th, 2006 at 8:18 pm
Arthur and BB–
I could take this dialogue well into the future, LOL, but –
Civil Truth is too right to argue with here, though I might not have too much trouble with participating in having Arthur PNG’d and deported to France, LOL. Everything in its place.
Thank you, CT.