November 2, 2005

Copy & Paste

An item that came up in email correspondence earlier this evening inspired me to whip up a reply that illustrated the workings of the mind of a San Francisco liberal, and my friend Kender suggested that I post it, so here goes:

Hi, thailor! I’m Lionel! Bush lied, an’ he won’t let me marry my Bubba! Save the animals, let people die instead, cause people ruin the environment and animals don’t. Save spotted owls, too, and all the little fishes. Free Mumia! Bush lied, so we have global warming, and ’cause of that, we got Katrina, Bush’s racist hurricane that killed ten thousand black people — oooh, dark meat! — in Noo Orleans. I love the ACLU! And Bush killed two thousand U.S. troops in Iraq, single handedly, including Cindy Sheehan’s son. I know, ’cause she said it an’ she’s friends with that great patriot, Michael Moore. Yeah, Bush lied, so we’re in Iraq instead of keeping our soldiers safe. We need to disarm our soldiers, anyway, and instead of those nasty guns, rearm them with the yearning to reach out to those people in al Qaeda and strive to understand them. And to show our good faith, we should release all those political prisoners from Cuba and restore Saddam to his rightful place, leading his people, and pull all our troops out of everywhere. With the money we save, we can raise welfare payments, or use the money we save to open government run free abortion clinics or maybe buy cars for undocumented aliens to make it easier for the poor, poor things to drive to work. Maybe we can also open a socialist learning center and pay for buses to take our preadolescent children on progressive school outings to mosques, where thay can learn all about our friends, the Muslims and how much better their religion is than Christianity or Judaism, and if Islam takes over the country, we won’t have any more worries about seperation of church and state, because those damn Jews and Christians will be all gone. Yes! Then we’ll live free under Sharia law with no more stupid Republicans around to try to take away our liberty. YES!!!!

Believe it or not, I’ve actually gotten into arguments with local liberals whose entire existences seemed to be based on their burning hatred for George W. Bush, and their blatherings were nearly identical to the above.

I suppose that’s what happens when one restricts ones’ sources of news and information to the Mainstream Media.

by @ 8:14 pm. Filed under San Francisco Liberals
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2 Responses to “Copy & Paste”

  1. kender Says:

    I….can’t….breathe…..I ….am….laugh….ing….too…..hard……thanks Seth.

  2. Seth Says:

    Oh, yes!

    The liberals out here are a laugh a minute, and even though they bring the amusement upon themselves through whole lines of argument that would look and fit perfectly on a bumper sticker or defend Kerry’s “message”(if there’s one out there, he must be sending it in Navajo, which I’m about as conversant with as the Germans were a few wars back) they still tend to fume when you laugh at them.

    O’Reilly had some woman on his show the other night{from a Fox clip} who had published a book that supposedly projects good arguments for electing Hillary Prez in 2008, but when he asked her to cite some of those arguments she could produce nothing but a lot of giggling, and gave the impression that either she’d never read her own book or it is just a collection of the usual convoluted liberal reasoning that reflects absolutely no practicality.

    I am reminded of a plaque the Cage & Credit Manager of a casino I once worked for had on his office wall:

    “There is no reason for it, but it’s